1. my new counselor just called me to say she "doesn't think she can help" and "isn't going to see me anymore" after a grand total of 1 hour talking. she even already scheduled me for next week and now is canceling. i'd love to talk to someone about my issues, but as I had feared, education and training are not enough to prepare someone for even HEARING about my life without their brain exploding. :(
2. my mom is trying to re-enter my life, maybe, after disowning me 4 years ago. she called. we talked. she says, "I'll get back to you in about two weeks" with her analysis of what really happened (since what little I know does not add up). we agree we both want the rift between us closed but I have no idea who she really ever was, so I am waiting and hoping the new info is better than the mom I have always known.
3. my last boss is gone and I dont have a new one yet. i am doing massage, and cheap, if anybody wants the work. Lately, of course, my mind is not going to generate peace exactly for you, but I can make you stop hurting if you are tight or tired. and working makes me feel better. plus, my living room is looking pretty cool as a new massage studio. so my offer is on the table. I have time and skill if you have the need.
4. my girlfriend and I are in a really different phase right now. 3 days a week I dont see her at all, and the others only by invite (even though we live together), and we are also not having sex. thats been going on for two weeks so far and is scheduled to last (at least) another month. in order to not just fixate on that, I am also giving up smoking for that same month.
5. I am not going to flipside this year. it will be my first time to miss since I started. I am already missing it! But between avoiding sex and smoking, I think I'd be lying to myself to say that's where I need to go. Interestingly, my girl still says I can "flirt", just not "flirt to win"...and that exact language was what made me realize flipside was out. in my camp, people want to know, and they ask:
"Are you winning?"
It's better if the answer is not, "No, but I wasn't trying anyway."
6. i am trying to reconnect to whoever out there feels theyve been missing me. so if you think you'd like to see me, for any reason, now is not a bad time. I am still a good listener, so don't worry that I only want you to be my new therapist! Some suggestions: bike riding, chess, capoeira, cooking, listening to brazilian music, watching documentaries, etc.
7. COOL DOCUMENTARIES that I've seen lately (and kinda want to talk about)
-Amazing Water: Is It Conscious?
-Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room
-911: In Plane Sight
-Waco: Rules of Engagement